The holiday season can be a complicated and bittersweet time when someone you love is living with dementia. But traditions and celebrations do not have to halt entirely. A few simple steps and adjustments can help families to safely connect and create meaningful moments including those with Alzheimer’s and related dementias this holiday season.
The following tips come from a 2024 interview with Sue Peschin, MHS, President and CEO of the Alliance for Aging Research, on WJLA Channel 7 News. Watch the full conversation and keep reading to learn more.
1. Set expectations ahead of time
A quick call or message to guests before a holiday gathering can go a long way in helping prevent surprises. Letting people know how your loved one is doing and mentioning any safety considerations you’re putting in place is important so family and friends can be supportive and show up with understanding. This also reduces stress for everyone involved.
2. Adjust hosting traditions when needed
It’s ok to ask for help! If you’re a caregiver, it is completely okay to step back from hosting responsibilities. For example, hand off the cooking and cleaning to someone else this year if you need a break.
If you are living with Alzheimer’s or another dementia, attending, rather than hosting and event, may also feel safer and less overwhelming. It’s OK to break tradition and gather at another home or even a restaurant.
Breaking up a longer gathering into shorter, separate gatherings can also be helpful. And consider whether your loved one is more comfortable remaining in their home and welcoming small groups of visitors at a time, or if they are comfortable celebrating in a loved one’s home at all.
The key is to be flexible and be prepared to pivot if plans change.
3. Timing matters
Plan events around the time of day when your loved one generally feels most comfortable. For many individuals with dementia, late afternoons and evenings can bring increased confusion or agitation (called “sundowning”). Turning a previous dinner into a brunch or having an earlier gathering may help everyone feel more at ease.
4. Encourage everyone to participate
Sharing experiences can help spark memories and give each family member a way to participate in the celebration. Activities like writing down family recipes, playing favorite or classic songs, reminiscing over pictures, and keeping conversations simple can be meaningful and help everyone feel included.
Because holiday gatherings can bring together relatives who haven’t seen each other in several months, it can also be a time you notice changes in a loved one. If you notice someone struggling to follow conversations or showing sudden mood changes that are different than their normal personality, consider reaching out privately to their spouse or caregiver and encourage a doctor’s visit.
Celebrating with a loved one who has dementia may look different from previous occasions, but it can still be joyful and full of connection. To learn more about Alzheimer’s and related diseases, visit the Alliance website.
Katrin Werner-Perez is the Director of Health Programs at the Alliance.
